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How to Dominate over Subs? – Beginners Guide for Kinky Girls

An experienced dominatrix has perfected the art of domination. She is both a psychologist and a philosopher who knows exactly how the human mind and body work. Besides, she feels personal satisfaction from sessions or lifestyle.

A woman might become a dominatrix on two grounds: whether it is just about a job, or she is a mistress by vocation. In the first case, the newly started goddess works in a so-called dungeon with multiple submissive clients. In the second one, a lady looks for like-minded people for dating in the dedicated offline/online clubs or practice domination with her life partner. Either way, a “rookie” should reach the roots of dominance before she rules and tortures her slaves.

Tips for Career-oriented BDSM Novices

Do you want to pursue a career as a professional dominatrix, but you don’t know where to start? The following recommendations deal with the measures you can take to get the necessary knowledge and practice. It’s a technical aspect of domination to direct you to the right people.

  • Find a dom who will agree to mentor a newbie.
  • Attend dedicated parties in the clubs.
  • Go to the conventions and other public BDSM events.
  • Have a personal slave to train.
  • Join fetish community websites where you can find partners, tutorials, and useful information on forums or blogs.

Ask yourself some questions before you are down the rabbit hole. Do you seek for easy money or self-realization in sex? Are you a bisexual dom or prefer to deal with the males only? Do you want to become an offline or online dominatrix? Be honest with yourself to be happy at your work rather than to pretend a dom in a dungeon but to stay a slave in reality.

How to Succeed in Professional Domination

You cannot just hurt a partner mindlessly, but it’s necessary to be attentive, understanding, and spontaneous. Men used to get sick of responsibility and come to a dom to relax. That’s why the performance in a dungeon is a psychologically explicable extreme. You could ever see an Internet meme “I’m a girl, I don’t want to decide anything, I want a dress.” In the era of gender equality, we can paraphrase it like “I’m a man, I don’t want to decide anything, I want to kneel and bow-wow.” So, the next list of tips concerns mental points of BDSM.

  • Be confident and act convincingly. Take control and don’t be embarrassed or shy.
  • Always have a plan of what you gonna have to do but, at the same time, be flexible enough to adapt yourself to a specific situation.
  • Be natural, calm, and convincing, as if you are a true goddess.
  • Feel free to use props. It is about not only stuff but also the elements of your appearance. For example, you can color your hair red to make them associate with fury and passion.
  • Note that differences in positioning are meaningful. It means physical position such as standing up when a sub is on the floor, sitting on him, or on his face, riding him.
  • Prioritize passion rather than pain. You should be rough but don’t go over the score.

Some psychological techniques minimize the need for the client to think and make decisions on his own. Every mistress’ order must be very specific. For example, replace the order “put your phone away and get down on your knees” with “put your phone on the edge of the windowsill, unbuckle your belt, take off your trousers, fold them, and put them on your nightstand.”

If it is about the first meeting with a client, the dominatrix asks in detail what he needs, likes, and how far he’s willing to go. In fact, there is a discussion of the game’s rules that neither a mistress nor a slave should break. Sometimes, subs ask for too dangerous tricks, and a real pro should explain to him why it is a bad idea.

Risks and Problems Professional Mistress Might Face

According to the reviews of real mistresses, being a dom is similar to freelance. A dominatrix is well paid, but she never knows when jobs rain down. However, the clients’ lifetime value is significant since professional relationships with some of them might last for years.

As a rule, mistresses don’t have sex with their subs that keep them safe from sexually transmitted diseases. However, some other occupational hazards are possible.

  • Work in dark dungeons for hours affects your health and requires more vitamins and skincare.
  • This job can influence your love life; that’s why you’re better to agree on your new career with your life partner beforehand.
  • You’ll meet different shades of personalities, and many of them might cause aversion. It’s crucial to be tolerant and save grace under pressure.
  • Be ready to become a subject of curiosity.

Sometimes a “slave” falls in love with his mistress and even asks her to marry him. A woman should clearly distinguish the love for a professional image from feelings for a real person.

Introduction to the Fetish Scene for Lifestyle Doms

If you want to dominate in your relationships with a lover or a husband, you should invest in equipment. Bondage and restraint kits, whips, handcuffs, ticklers, blindfold, etc. will spice up your plays in bed.

It’s crucial to introduce erotic control to your relationships correctly and start from simple role plays. For instance, a male can pretend to be the CEO of a company and the submissive will play an employee. Don’t forget to create a safe word to interrupt the game if it goes too far.

Before you engage in BDSM on a personal level, talk with your partner beforehand to clarify sexual practices that turn you on best of all. If you are unsure of your strengths, it’s possible to apply to a sex therapist. Some couples look for help in dungeons, applying to a professional dominatrix. In this case, they’re on the razor's edge since close contact with the third party might provoke jealousy and mistrust.

Afterword

If you want to dominate over submissive men professionally, go ahead and be a woman you are. There is no need to worry about the lack of experience. Females come to domination from different fields: school teaching, psychology, acting, and many other industries. Whether you are looking for the wildest fetishes for fun or money, respect the wishes of your slaves, but don’t neglect your desires and turns on. Natural emotions and senses will make a BDSM session passionate and fully effective.